Emotions

Sometimes it amazes me the range of emotions I can feel in one day. It seems so much greater than most anything I ever felt before on a typical Saturday, and today happened to be one of those days where I can’t believe everything I felt.

The day started off with a knock on our door from a friend. She wanted to sit and talk because there was a problem. My heart broke for her as she shared what happened. We prayed together because Benjamin and I didn’t really have any other advice and we needed to turn it over to the Lord.

Awhile later, I remembered that it was Saturday morning and tutoring was happening in just a few hours, one of my favorite parts of the week. We implemented a new check-in schedule that worked well and allowed us to have extra time with our students. To make things better, my group of 6 students was great today! It felt like we accomplished so much and they were focused the whole time. I left tutoring feeling as if I had more energy than when I started.

As the afternoon rolled around there was an intense windstorm and some thunder that seemed to fit what would come next. I went go to Mama Ruth’s house where Regina and I sat with one of the older girls from the sponsorship program to tell her the news that she was being removed from the program. She recently became pregnant, at 17, and now she isn’t going to school or coming to Saturday tutoring because the other students are making fun of her.

Next came her story. She was living with one of her grandmothers. Her father has a handicap and I believe he hasn’t cared for her in a while. After she got pregnant, her grandmother kicked her out, so she moved in with her other grandmother, Mama Ruth. Her mother lives in town because she left the father a few years ago when he was extremely sick and all she does since her daughter got pregnant is cry and become extremely mad at her. The mother tells her, “What do you think you’re doing getting pregnant? My husband and I can hardly take care of ourselves because we don’t have work. What do you think you’re doing bringing this baby into the picture?” Her father, the one with the handicap, now hates her because of this mistake she’s made.

My heart broke as I listened to her story. Her life isn’t going to be easy. She’s going to have to fight for her and her baby. As we were leaving, I turned to her, looker her in the eye and said, “I want you to know that I love you and I still support you.” I feel like everything in her life right now is filled with shame. I want her to know that someone cares for her, that someone loves her, and that Jesus is still there for her.

As I was sitting there listening to this girl’s story, one of Mama Ruth’s other grandchildren, who was recently sponsored and is in my tutoring group, leaned over to me and whispered, “Auntie Allison, I want to learn to read. Can I come on Monday?” This girl has found such a special place in my heart even though I haven’t known her long. I whispered back, “What time would you come?” After she sat and thought for a few moments, she said, “Maybe 16:00.”

How I wish I could teach every child to read. Sitting here typing this I can think of handfuls of kids that I would love to give one-on-one attention so they can learn how to read. It just feels like there are never enough hours in a day to meet all of the needs that are in front of me.

Then tonight, I was on dinner preparation for the team and Benjamin and Bernard, one of the boys from the Children’s Home, came running into the kitchen saying, “She’s having babies! The pig is having babies!” Benjamin was hoping that his pig would have babies before we left to come back to the states for a few weeks. He spent a long time by the pigpen and his pig had 8 babies. There was so much joy and excitement as a bunch of kids were standing around the pigpen guessing how many babies there would be.

After dinner we had abiding with Christ night with the Children’s Home. We were split up into 4 groups and told to choose a Bible story and create a skit. We then presented these skits and they had us laughing and enjoying ourselves. In addition to the skits, Benjamin and a few boys made chocolate chip muffins that we got to enjoy together before the kids went off to bed.

Now I’m sitting here, it’s after 11 PM (way later than I typically go to bed) and one of the baby pigs isn’t doing well. It is the runt and Benjamin is sitting here with it wrapped in a blanket trying to keep it alive feeding it with a dropper.

What a day! What a lot of emotions! Sometimes I just want to lock myself in the house so I don’t have to hear about another child who can’t go to school because they don’t have the money to pay the school fees, or another grandmother who doesn’t have money so she hasn’t been able to feed her family for the past few days. But then I remember these are daughters and sons of the almighty King. He loves them so much and He wants each and every one of them to know Him deeply and intimately. That’s why I’m here. I too, want people to know their Heavenly Father. I want to love them to Him, so if my day is filled with many emotions I can’t even begin to imagine what the Father feels for all of His children.


Pray with me tonight:
-for the friend who has been hurt
-for the kids in my tutoring group
-for the 17 year old who is now pregnant
-for the 10 year old who so badly wants to learn to read
-for the kids in the Children’s Home
-for the grandmother who hasn’t had food in 3 days
-and for us to continue to love deeply as our Father does